Finding their way thanks to ABA

Suicide is a terrifying thought for any parent who has a child struggling with mental health.

It was a startling conversation about suicide that prompted Karen Fasulo into action when her daughter Jordan told her at 12 years old that she was worried that she may take her own life one day.

Jordan’s autism diagnosis was late. It didn’t come until she was 11, when Jordan was diagnosed with autism on top of living with limited fine motor skills, ADHD and high levels of anxiety. Psychological evaluations also pegged Jordan as being young or ‘child-like’ for her age. She would create stories with her fingers, just letting her imagination run wild no matter if she was on a shopping trip or in a social setting with family friends.

Before the autism diagnosis, Karen explains that as a baby and young toddler Jordan wasn’t quite meeting the same milestones as her peers. She was delayed in speaking, so she went to a speech therapy clinic. They tested her hearing. They determined that she could understand what others were saying and she could follow simple directions. Eventually she started to talk, but she was having real difficulty going to the bathroom. With the benefit of hindsight, Karen understands these were sensory issues and early signs that Jordan fell somewhere on the autism spectrum.

Another early indicator was Jordan’s inability to go to the movies. The noise was overwhelming. She would cover her eyes, cover her ears and cry. She would have breakdowns in the grocery store. There were more little clues along the way growing up in that she really did not fit in well with her friends. She would run away from birthday parties. Her mother explains that she had one really good friend from kindergarten to Grade 4, who really saved Jordan from a lot of bullying and a lot of social awkwardness serving as her protector.

The bullying began, however, when Jordan moved schools in Grade 5 following the separation of her parents. She had difficulty connecting with the kids in her new school. She didn’t have to worry about not wanting to go to birthday parties because there were no invitations. She was left out of social situations because the other kids didn’t know how to talk to her. Jordan was still in little world fantasizing about stories, whereas the other girls in her class were talking about makeup, music, and boys. Bullying became another burden.

In health class there was a discussion about suicide. After school Jordan came home and said that she was having a lot of anxiety and panic over it. She said to her mother, “I don’t feel like I want to kill myself, but I’m afraid that I’ll do it one day.” Karen wasted no time in finding a counsellor for Jordan to talk to who came to their house along with an ABA therapist.

Jordan’s exposure to ABA therapy helped turned things around, allowing her to manage the anxiety she was feeling. Like most parents with autistic children, Karen had to fight her way onto and through various OPA funding wait lists. The fight was well worth it.

The ABA therapy she received in her high school years helped her to advocate for herself in the classroom. During weekly visits to their home, the ABA therapist conducted role-play exercises on how to start conversations in order for Jordan to engage other students and her teachers. She flourished in high school because she was able to tell her teachers what she needed to be able to learn. She graduated on the honour roll.

Fast forward, Jordan is now 19 and has graduated from George Brown College in Toronto. Ironically, those loud movie theatres didn’t turn her off or prevent her from earning a degree in film and video production.

Karen sums up Jordan’s journey, “There is a way to be happy and be autistic at the same time. All I want for my child is to be happy with who she is. And, thankfully, she is.”